Love on Purpose: Physical Touch

Love on purpose Physical touch

The Power of a Squeeze

The power of a squeeze.

My husband and I love physical touch (his primary love language, my secondary). When he is cranky, I scratch his head. When he is tired, I scratch his head. When he starts getting road rage in the car during traffic, I scratch his head. When we cuddle to watch a movie, I scratch his head.

I’m reminded of a clip from America’s Funniest Videos about a girl who scratches a monkey’s head. When she stops, the monkey grabs her hand to return it to his head for more scratching. My husband uses the same tactic.

Physical Touch is a Love Language that usually shows up socially. Sometimes people mistake “physical touch” to mean sex. Sex is a biological need. Physical touch people want to cuddle before and after sex. Simple gestures that are appreciated: holding hands, walking arm-in-arm, massages or cuddling together. Sleeping next to each other is great just as long as some part of the body is touching, even the toes.

Clues that your Love Language may be Physical Touch:

1. You are a social-toucher (high-fives, hugs, etc). You frequently touch while talking. When you get drunk, you hug everyone.

2. When your significant other is around, you need to be sitting together or touching.

3. When you are stressed, being touched is calming.

Long Talks & Listening: My husband is a better listener when I scratch his head. We made a deal that as long as I keep scratching, he will listen to everything I have to say until I’m done. If he wants me to go longer, all he has to ask is, “what do you think is the bigger lesson in this situation?” Guaranteed 10 extra minutes of head scratching.

Hug & Hold: A quick kiss is not enough. The purpose of the 10-second hug is for the couple to hold each other until the muscles relax. A proper greeting or good-bye can be transformed with the power of a squeeze.

Find out your Love Language: assessment and 3 min video

Are you (or your partner) Physical Touch: What physical affection do you love the best?




Filed under communication, life coaching, Living on Purpose, marriage, pre-marital, Relationship, Self-Growth

11 responses to “Love on Purpose: Physical Touch

  1. Susan Fisher

    This is wonderful Charmin! I love the way you describe how you scratch Jeff’s Head in order to please him. What a symbiotic relationship you two have. I took the Test and found out my primary Love Language is “Quality Time”. Second is “Words of Affirmation. Very interesting and I do wonder if these change over time for some reason or another. Thanks for including me in your Blog. I’m loving it! Susan <

    • Char

      Susan, I wonder too if these change. Also wonder if they are based on what we didn’t get as kids. Or maybe we only noticed we didn’t get it cause it was primary. For example, as the oldest of 6 kids, as far back as I can remember, I wanted my mom to pay attention just to me for awhile. There were constant interruptions, not just from sibs but extended family members as well, and it seemed everyone else came first. Quality time is my primary language!

  2. Essentially, we need all of them. Some are more important than others (higher frequency). I noticed that when my primary and secondary love tanks are full, my third language becomes more of a focus. I’ve always been a cuddler and wanted undivided attention.

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  5. Very nice blog! Great job in writing! Congratulations and many happy years for you!

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