I used to love riding my bike in circles around the cul-de-sac when I was a kid. Now, if I want to ride a bike it requires that I interact with cars. A ride around the neighborhood becomes more stressful when I need to cooperate with moving vehicles to weave around parked cars. There is not a clear place where my bicycle belongs on the road. The carefree feeling of riding bikes has been replaced with a vulnerability of being exposed to traffic.
This blog series is based on the book, Boundaries. There are 10 Laws of Boundaries addressed in one of the chapters. This week we will explore the tenth law. Boundaries Law #10 “Exposure” helps us communicate in relationships where the line is.
Don’t be Roadkill. Allowing ourselves to be run over is not an act of love. “We will privately endure the pain of someone’s irresponsibility instead of telling them how their behavior affects us and other loved ones, information that would be helpful to their soul.”
Making boundaries unclear or inconsistent can make them hard to follow. Secret boundaries don’t work. When we over-give or go pass the point of what we can handle, it is often easy to passively withdraw or send quiet hints. What we need to do is communicate an honest “no”. How people express where the line is can be clear or subversive. “If our boundaries are not communicated and exposed directly, they will be communicated indirectly or through manipulation.”
New Habit #10: I will make my boundaries visible.
Many roads have incorporated exposed boundaries that clearly define the bike lane. I miss the joy of riding bikes. Maybe it is time to take a ride around the neighborhood.
New Year, New Habits!