PCV Life: “Why Does a Village Teen Need a Cellphone?” – Peace Corps Albania 2004-2006: (Charmania in Albania)

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PCV Life + Culture: “10 Years Later” – Peace Corps Albania 2004-2006: (Charmania in Albania)

March 2016

Habits that Never Leave: “You Know You’ve Been in Albania Too Long When…”

1. You carpool your kids to school in a mini-van and keep a plastic stool in the back just in case you need an extra seat.
2. Shots of hard liquor can’t get you drunk anymore, only Raki.
3. The first thing you always use to cook is oil, lots and lots of oil.
4. You kiss a same-sex person hello when they ONLY want to shake hands.
5. You summon your mom by saying, “Oh Ma. Oh Ma-mi!”
6. You do the “one ring” on your cellphone, even when you pay $50+ a month for a calling plan.
7. Your calls are limited to one minute unless the other person calls you.
8. You get bills in the mail and try to call Michael from Peac Corps to ask, “What the hell is going on?”
9. You beep-beep on the car horn when you see someone you know, to communicate with the other drivers, or just for fun.
10. You see the police, put on your seat belt, and then take it off again after you pass.
11. After saying “car, peach, or peel” too loudly you cover your mouth and hope nobody heard you.
12. Flipping on a light switch, you get excited that there is electricity.
13. You watch Spanish telenovelas just to read the subtitles.
14. Going to the hairdresser, you ask for “the mullet”.
15. You arrive at the bride’s house three days early for the party and ask, “Where is the band?”
16. Parents get mad that you slapped their kids on the back of the head for misbehavior in public.
17. Riding on public transportation, you feel lucky you got a seat for your WHOLE butt.
18. You feel offended that NOBODY wants to stare at you anymore.
19. You pass graffiti on a wall and can appreciate that it is spelled correctly.
20. You keep slippers in the bathroom, by the door, in the backyard, and on the patio, and have an extra pair for guests.
21. You keep wearing the same clothes throughout the week because they don’t smell bad enough to wash yet.
22. The weather determines if it is a good day to hang laundry outside.
23. At a restaurant, you are surprised to find that they actually have everything on the menu.
24. Getting an American-sized coffee, you gasp, “It is so BIG!”
25. After buying slim cigarettes, your friends look at you weirdly.
26. You speak “fast English” to your friend because you think nobody else around you can translate that quick.
27. Your ideal mate’s qualities (for ladies) are prioritized as having ALL teeth in good condition, having a job, and living far away from his mother.
28. After dinner, you wipe your mouth on the tablecloth
29. While crossing a one-way street, you still check both directions AND the sidewalk…just in case.
30. You get pissed that movies cost $9+.
31. You keep a special dish of chocolates for when guests come.
32. After using a public bathroom, you rate it “five stars” because the toilet is modern, there is toilet paper, soap, hand towels, and a lock on the door.
33. When buying a shirt, you think it looks plain without the buckles, holes, or zippers on the sleeves.
34. Listening to the radio/TV, you think, “My language skills are really improving, I understand everything.”
35. After every 3-4 months, you still write a progress report and email it to Peace Corps Chris.
36. Leaving for a weekend getaway, you text the out-of-site phone to let them know where your new location is.
37. After being trapped in an elevator, you call Peace Corps Rudi about your safety and security status. She replies, “Again?!”
38. You get food poisoning, so you call Peace Corps Lowell to tell him, “I think I should drink lots of water and then wait and see.”
39. You forget how to use a shower curtain.
40. After seeing a guy in his 20s run down the street, you think, “Wow! He must have cut back on the chain-smoking.”
41. While at a candle-lit dinner, you think, “Damn! Drita (electricity) is out.”
42. After using a mayonnaise or jelly jar, rinse it out to use as beer glasses for your next party.
43. You are shocked to see there are actually women at a club.
44. Camping with your gas stove, you feel nostalgia for Albania.
45. Arrested for bribing a Highway Patrol officer, you think, “Did I not give him enough for a bribe?”
46. You keep a bucket of water next to the toilet for emergency flushes.
47. You spend the night at someone’s house and bring absolutely nothing, “Albanian style.”
48. You ask to buy a single cigarette or a diaper instead of buying the whole box.
49. A cashier tells you the total of your purchases, and you ask, “In old-dollars or new-dollars?”
50. At weddings, you do the circle dance alone.
51. Your friend returns from vacation, and you ask, “Which is better, here or there?”
52. At a dinner party, you begin casual conversations with “So, how many brothers and sisters do you have”? Followed by, “How much money do you make?”
53. Trying on clothes with a friend at a store, you ask the clerk, “Who is fatter, her or me?”

PCV Life: “Signing off from Albania for the Last Time” – Peace Corps Albania 2004-2006: (Charmania in Albania)

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PCV Life: “Reflection of Two Years” – Peace Corps Albania 2004-2006: (Charmania in Albania)

June 2006

From the outside perspective, the way things are done here seems crazy.

At first, my general impression was that this culture lacks logical thinking. After being here longer, I realized that I don’t understand whatever logic is used. The easiest way to explain it is, in my reality, 1+1=2. In Albanian logic, 1+1=3. I don’t know how the math works, but that is how decisions are made.

Since I had to be here for two years, I surrendered my American logic enough to function in Albania.

Creativity and ambition are poisoned by a negative mentality.

People tell me their dreams in one breath and kill their hopes with the next sentence. I think the whole country needs to go to a positive-thinking boot camp. How can people be convinced progress is possible when they have already decided “nothing will change”? Why have other post-Communist countries developed faster? Why do people complain about corruption, but do nothing as they witness it so blatantly? Why do I feel like I have to bribe someone to get some cooperation around here?

I’m here to help Albanians. They are my biggest barriers.

I invested two years of my life, and what villagers will remember is “she is spy”. All my contributions are wiped away from the conspiracy theories that are circulated.

“What am I doing here?” I frequently asked myself.

Am I the only one who actually wants to DO something positive around here?

Why do people treat bunkers in their backyards, playgrounds, or on the streets like it is completely normal?

How can my village call itself a “town” when there is no electricity or water in the high school (that is, village status to me)?

Why am I begging to teach after-school classes, but then nobody comes after two lessons?

Why do students not show up to class when it rains? 

I raised money for a community project. When I asked people for ideas of materials that could be bought to donate to the library or school, etc. I was told, “That’s not enough money. You can’t do anything with that amount ($400).”

It is like watching someone shoot themselves in the foot and complain that they walk with a limp now.

I pause and wait for the logic to connect…it never does.

Being female translates into being a second-class citizen, where girls have all the restrictions and boys have all the freedoms. Whoever brings money home is more important; unless you are a woman, then you are still expected to clean the toilet.

My nerves have been rubbed raw.

If one more loitering boy makes another derogatory comment while passing me on the street…

If I have to be trapped on another furgon with a middle-aged, horny man who thinks that I’m vulnerable to his advances because I’m female, alone, and foreign…

If I have to listen to another person blame everybody else for his problems…

If another 10-year-old on a motor scooter tries to run me over on the street again because he thinks it’s entertaining…

I am suffering from “walking road rage.”

My Peace Corps experience is filled with so many violent thoughts. I’ve never passionately hated the general population of men before now. Being a foreign female, I’m looked at for easy sex or for a fake marriage to get a visa to America. That is the extent of my value.

I feel anger about the oppression of women and the frustration WITH women who allow it to perpetuate.

I feel resentment that I have to be afraid of men, that I’m helpless, and that my freedoms are limited by cultural norms.

I feel rage. A concerning amount of rage that boils up and needs an excuse to explode. Who have I become??…this isn’t me. These have all been responses to what I’ve had to deal with, not every day, but frequently enough.

Red flags and internal warning alarms go off. I retreat to the sanctuary of solitude. In my house, I can be American and not be subjected to being stared at by EVERYONE like an animal in a zoo. This experience has been dizzying, where the highs and lows can come all at once, making me nauseous. This is the private side that my community doesn’t see.

Publicly, I put on a happy face. I find reasons to smile. I’m constantly doing public relations for myself because someone is ALWAYS watching.

I capture and mentally record small successes that I’ll write down later, to remind myself of when the inevitable low days come. I dramatically re-enact absurd moments, to entertain my Albanian friends and to be a mirror for their culture.

There are moments, those precious and unexpected moments, that confirm the answer as to why I came here. They are “pocket-change” moments.

At the end of two years, the little things started adding up to more than what it felt like on a daily basis. I slowly started to see inklings of my influence, like a seed beginning to sprout just as I prepared to leave. Hope. I have to trust that I planted enough seeds for something positive to grow from my investment here. I’ll never know.

I was preparing to write my resume. My hands were perched on the keyboard. “Taught English.” Hmmm…that’s it?

If everything went according to plan, my primary assignment, co-teaching at the high school, would have been my main contribution. Nothing works according to plan here, I had to get creative, twist some arms to support me, and work with the logic that 1+1=3.  

My secondary projects were more impressive on a resume. I’ve learned to keep track of the little things. The American part wants to know how many people I helped (not that many), how much money I raised (not that much), and what the end product was, “the bottom line” (huh?)?

Translating this reality into something impressive for a potential employer to read is a daunting task. The people I had the greatest impact on were only a few, but it was an intense amount because they welcomed change.

I got some students addicted to reading. I supplied books as if they were drugs for their imagination. This opened dialogues and discussions about progressive ideas. It sparked questions of self-reflection. It opened their eyes to new perspectives.

Where do I put that down in the required section on the federal application for Knowledge-Skills-Abilities?

I came to terms with the idea that I’m the star of my own reality show, without the TV…just people staring, recording in their minds their observations, then gossiping about me. People gossip ABOUT me in FRONT of me, like I’m a child who doesn’t understand their talk.

Cultural Note: In America, we have the “neighborhood watch”. In Albania, they have neighborhood surveillance.

The frustrations have prompted action. The irritation has solicited my emergency supply of patience. The absurdities have become prime material for a stand-up comedy show, or at least entertaining anecdotes for friends back home. At times, I shake my head in bewilderment at the chaos. I laugh because it is hilarious to me.

During my Peace Corps service, I feel I’ve gained 10 years of life experience.

I have a deeper understanding of my American citizenship and the privileges that go with it. I have more compassion for immigrants and want to be a better hostess of my country. I intended to embrace it all like they are “memories in the making” so I can retell the funny stories with more accuracy years from now. I’ve learned many life lessons that will help me to continue to grow with more confidence and trust in my survival skills.

I have laughed when I wanted to scream.

I got quiet when I wanted to explode in anger.

I documented moments like they were the stories of a lifetime!

20-Year Reflection: The only project I planned in Albania that was successfully implemented from start to finish was this Blog series, posted 20 years later.

PCV Life: “I’m Ready to Leave” – Peace Corps Albania 2004-2006: (Charmania in Albania)

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PCV Life: “Reflection: What Teaching Means to Me” – Peace Corps Albania 2004-2006: (Charmania in Albania)

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PCV Life: “A Good Happy Spy” – Peace Corps Albania 2004-2006: (Charmania in Albania)

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PCV Life: “Last Week at my Site” – Peace Corps Albania 2004-2006: (Charmania in Albania)

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PCV Life: “She is Spy” – Peace Corps Albania 2004-2006: (Charmania in Albania)

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PCV Life: “Greedy and Corrupting Bastards” – Peace Corps Albania 2004-2006: (Charmania in Albania)

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PCV Life: “The Makings of a Scandal” – Peace Corps Albania 2004-2006: (Charmania in Albania)

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